Give Us Some of That Money!

Let us bring you up to speed. The economy is in the toilet. Banks are foreclosing on homes left and right, and the American automobile industry could be bankrupt any day now.  The United States government is giving out billions of dollars to banks as part of an emergency bailout. The hope is to keep these banks afloat and prevent a domino effect from destroying the economy completely.

The economic bailout has been a hot button topic with fierce arguments both for and against.  Recently the Associated Press contacted 21 banks which received over a billion dollars in aid. They asked four basic questions:

1. How much money has been spent?

2. What was it spent on?

3. How much is being saved?

4. What is the plan for the rest of it?

None of the 21 banks provided satisfactory answers. Most admitted they were not tracking how much they were spending, while others were denying that they were denying to comment. With no real accountability to the American public, these banks are essentially getting this money with no strings attached.

Reporters have also noticed that applying for this government funding is pretty easy. A company wanting to apply for assistance simply fills out a two page form asking questions like “What’s the name of you company?”, “What’s your address?”, and “How much do you want?”. It does not ask for a description of how you will spend the money or why you think you need the money.

Hey, wait a minute. Fill out a two page form asking for money and have no accountability of any kind? We can do that! And so, we did. We decided it was time for The Official Moon Base Party of the United States of America to get a little slice of the pie. So we went online, printed the two-page PDF, and filled that puppy out. Below is the complete form.

bailout-application-p1bailout-application-p2

Soon we will be rolling in money. It’ll be silver spoons and golden diapers for all the babies!

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