I am not sure if I want to run for president. Buy my book and I’ll promise to think about it.
Why are you handing me an old yearbook?
Resolution 1: Finally get around to building that moon base.
It is the eleventh hour, and the #BlueWave could use a #MoonTide.
Since the American people outside the Florida panhandle will have to endure another two years of Gaetz running around the cable news networks, let’s take a few minutes to get caught up on what our favorite US Representative has been doing since our last update.
The midterms have returned, and the bloodbath is about to begin.
We are looking for America’s best and brightest … or whatever we can get really.
You have tried spying on customers using loyalty cards, credit card purchases, and tracking their cell phones, but none of this is enough. You need more data!
You stumbled upon this article on page 18 of your Google search and wondered what a website with a smiling cartoon moon had to say about gun violence. Surprisingly, you are in luck.
Wrecking the planet, standing up for a defenseless president, mocking constituents on Twitter, and attacking the credibility of law enforcement investigations — all in the name of deregulation.
What do you do with this stupid thing now?
Scientists estimate there are currently less than ten registered sex offenders on the moon.